Tone Every Inch, by Natalie Machenzie

1. Calculate BMR
2. combination of strength, cardio, dieting

Free clinics in Sacramento

http://sacpros.org/OtherHealtnCareResources.aspx

Low cost dental:
http://sacpros.org/medicalhealth.aspx

CMISP (county medically indigent services program) fact sheet
http://dhaweb.saccounty.net/medical/documents/cmisp%20fact%20sheet.pdf

Need to be a more responsible person

Things to improve on:
1) Reliability-- respond to all types of communications within 24 hours
2) Be clear-- don't simply say "YES" to do something, when you are not sure, say "I'm not SURE"
3) Be accurate-- Recheck and recheck for errors
4) Know the rules in and out

Next Degree: Law Degree--To understand laws, defend myself, and make better arguments

“You’re going to meet a lot of people in your lifetime,” he said. “Some of these people you may not like. Just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean you have to work against them. When you see somebody doing something wrong, tell them: ‘That’s not right. Stop it.’ The change you want to see in the world begins with you.” -Joe Clementi

Hugs in the workplace: Acceptable or personal-space invasion?

By Debra Auerbach, CareerBuilder Writer

 

The hug. It's a simple gesture that can make a happy situation happier or help someone overcome with sadness feel a little better. Studies have shown that hugs can actually make a difference in one's health; research out of the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill found that a hug can lower blood pressure and reduce the harmful physical effects of stress.

Hugs are thought to be so beneficial, there's even a day dedicated to celebrating the gift of a hug. Jan. 21 has been deemed "National Hugging Day," and according to the organizer's website, the day was "created for family and friends to hug often and freely with one another."
Yet when it comes to hugging in the workplace, the act may become less of a kind gesture and more of a liability. According to a survey by staffing agency The Creative Group, seven in 10 executives interviewed said embracing co-workers in a business setting is inappropriate.
"The thing about hugging in the workplace is that if it makes anyone uncomfortable, there can be legal ramifications," says Donna Flagg, workplace communications expert and author of, "Surviving Dreaded Conversations." "And because of hostile work environment and sexual harassment suits, innocent hugging is always vulnerable to being construed as something else -- that is, something not so innocent."
So is hugging a co-worker or showing any signs of physical affection ever acceptable? Or is it better to avoid any gesture that could be considered a personal-space invasion? While opinions may differ, here are some things to think about when going in for an office hug:
Consider where you work
To determine if hugs are tolerated in your workplace, first think about where you work. The type of company it is and the culture it promotes may give you some clues as to whether signs of affection would be encouraged. Is your company more by-the-book or is it laid back in its methods or practices? Does the company culture encourage working in teams and being open to others, or is it more of an independent, cut-throat, every-man-for-himself environment?
In addition, the type of field you work in can make a difference. If you work in a more corporate environment, affection may be frowned upon. But some fields -- health care for instance -- may be more open to hugging, and the act may even be part of the job.
"In my world, there are times when hugging is the most appropriate thing to do," says Dr. Diane Radford, a surgical oncologist specializing in breast cancer. "There are times when I interact with patients that giving or receiving a hug is part of the whole spectrum of communication ... A hug can be a reassuring way of indicating they will be OK, but I'm there if they need me. One has to be astute and know when a hug is the right thing to do. In my workplace, it often is the right thing to do."
Take cues from others
It's also important to keep in mind that everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to public displays of affection, especially with people who aren't family or close friends. While you may love giving hugs, they may make your cube mate uncomfortable.
"Recognizing that not everyone shares the same personal-boundary line is essential to maintaining a pleasant and professional workplace environment," says Roshini Rajkumar, national speaker and communication/image expert.
"Remember that personal touch is not about intention, but rather, how it is perceived by the person receiving the touch. If they are uncomfortable, then the touch is wrong. Be aware of co-workers' personal boundaries before entering into a 'physical relationship' with them, no matter how passive or limited the touch."
Respect cultural differences
Someone's comfort level for workplace affection may be influenced by their age, upbringing or cultural background. While some cultures embrace hugging, others show respect or thanks in other ways, so it's important to keep such differences in mind.
Also consider one's gender and role within the company. Hugging someone of another gender could more easily be misconstrued than hugging someone of the same sex. There may be sensitivities around hugging a boss or subordinate but not necessarily around hugging a peer.
"Keep in mind the recipient's gender and ethnicity," Rajkumar says. "Different cultures have different boundaries...Generations have different expectations as well. Today's younger generation is more touchy-feely, while the older generation is more formal."
Watch how you hug
There are different ways you can hug someone, and they can mean different things. Hugging from the front or back may be awkward, but a casual side hug could appear less threatening and personal.
"A big smothering bear hug may not be appropriate, but the handshake and one arm around the shoulder hug -- which tends to be more of a hit-and-run type of hug -- could work fine," says Regina Barr, founder and CEO of Red Ladder Inc., a consulting, executive coaching and speaking company. "The latter hug might be more comfortable for folks in the workplace, because it's a hybrid hug."
If in doubt, handshake it out
"If you work in a friendly/casual environment, you may be able to substitute hugging for handshaking, but when in doubt, don't hug," Rajkumar suggests. "It's usually best to err on the side of caution when it comes to physical displays of affection. Consider a big smile and enthusiastically clasping your hands together while you express gratitude verbally as an alternative." Rajkumar also recommends high fives or shoulder claps as some other ways to communicate physically without overstepping.
While there's no right answer to whether or not hugging in the workplace is appropriate, there's still no argument that a good hug can make someone's day a little brighter. Just make sure it's warranted and welcomed.
Debra Auerbach is a writer and blogger for CareerBuilder.com and its job blog, The Work Buzz. She researches and writes about job search strategy, career management, hiring trends and workplace issues.

Copyright 2012 CareerBuilder. All rights reserved. The information contained in this article may not be published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without prior written authority.

Article Reprints
Permission must be obtained from CareerBuilder.com to reprint any of its articles. Please send a request to reprints@careerbuilder.com.

Story Filed Friday, January 20, 2012 - 11:30 AM

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-2911-Workplace-Issues-Hugs-in-the-workplace-Acceptable-or-personal-space-invasion/?SiteId=cbmsnhp42911&sc_extcmp=JS_2911_home1

Wives, work and guilt: Bread-winning mothers tell of being 'torn' over leaving children each day

By BECKY BARROW, BUSINESS CORRESPONDENT

Last updated at 8:38 AM on 23rd January 2012

Bread-winning wives who earn more than their stay-at-home husbands are crippled by guilt about ‘abandoning’ their children, research reveals today.

About 1.4million families in Britain rely on a high-earning woman whose husband or boyfriend is raising their children full-time, or works part-time.

In this dramatic reversal of the traditional family set-up, four in ten mothers said they are ‘racked with guilt’ about leaving their children while they go out to work.

Stressed: Many working women find it painful to leave their children at home

The study of 1,200 mothers also reveals resentment among many bread-winning wives who feel they are ‘struggling to juggle it all’. One in five said they feel as if they have two full-time jobs because they also have to do the bulk of household chores when they get home.

One mother told the researchers: ‘I sometimes feel taken for granted. He puts his feet up the minute I get home and expects me to take over.’ Another said: ‘He says he does the housework but it is often half a job. I’m still expected to cook the meals and wash up.’

 

And a third mother said: ‘The children are much closer to my husband than me. I shouldn’t resent it but I can’t help it. It makes me so upset.’

According to the latest Office for National Statistics figures, record numbers of mothers are working full-time despite having a child as young as six months old. There are 2.25million women, whose youngest or only child is under the age of four, who have a full-time job. There were 1.9million in 2003.

Jealous: Some women feel resentment that their husbands are closest to the children

The issue is being exacerbated by the fact the average working woman in her 20s earns more than a man the same age. It means her salary is higher than her husband’s at the age when many women have their first child, typically 29.

The crippling cost of childcare as well as super-size mortgages means many couples have no choice but to stick with the higher earner’s salary when deciding who should stay at home.

Jill Kirby, author of The Price of Parenthood, said: ‘Women are increasingly changing their traditional roles, perhaps because their husband has lost his job or because she earns more than him. But they are not finding it easy.’

ONS figures show that, in 1997, men earned 5.9 per cent more than women in their 20s. In 2005, women earned more for the first time. By 2010, they earned 2.1 per cent more, rising to 3.6 per cent today.

It is unlikely to be a coincidence that the number of mothers working full-time has risen at the same time. In 1997, there were 4.5million such mothers with children under the age of 19, rising to 5.02million this year.

Yet despite the feelings of guilt, just 5 per cent of bread-winning wives want to change places with their partner, the survey by insurers Aviva found.

Spokesman Louise Colley said: ‘It’s possible that some women are making their lives harder than necessary by trying to do everything.’

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2090392/Bread-winning-mothers-tell-torn-leaving-children-day.html#ixzz1kJfo0WHa

12 secrets of being happy: Using research from 100 world experts, a new book shows how to look on the bright side

By LINDA KELSEY

Last updated at 6:46 PM on 23rd January 2012

• Comments (108)
• Share

Every time I saw my father in the couple of years before he died, he would say: ‘Tell me Linda, are you happy?’ 

I think he knew he was coming to the end of his life and wanted to reassure himself of my well-being. 

Maybe it would have been kinder to reply: ‘Yes, Dad, I’m happy.’ But my relationship had come to an end after more than 20 years and the future looked bleak. 

Value happiness: Happiness can be learned, but finding meaning and a purpose in life is what leads to it, not the other way around

I found myself saying: ‘Right now, no, but I will be again, I’m pretty sure of that. And you’re not to worry. No one can expect to be happy all the time.’ And yet it seems the pursuit of happiness has become a national preoccupation. 

Eminent economists, politicians and psychologists debate endlessly about the best way to create a happy society, while David Cameron’s ‘happiness index’ aims to pin down just how content we are. 

Plenty of woolly self-help books exist which promise to unlock the secret of happiness. Just last week, the Institute of Economic Affairs concluded rather prosaically that money had a large part to play. 

 

More...

• JANET STREET-PORTER: Lord Gherkin and the £50bn airport that we don’t need
• Engagement gift lists? They’re an indecent proposal
• A scent to suit your blood group...

But I’ve found, when my life isn’t going to plan, there are plenty of simple things that help — for starters, my friends, my son and my dog. Then there’s walking in the countryside, getting lost in a good book, learning something new, still being a size 10 as I approach 60, a new recipe that turns out well. The list is endless.

But a new book tries to probe deeper. In it, you won’t find spiritual philosophy, but evidence-based material that aims to unlock the secrets of happy people. In the World Book Of Happiness, Leo Bormans has drawn together the research and discoveries of the world’s leading experts on the psychology of happiness. Researchers have questioned thousands of people and what he has discovered is as surprising as it is inspiring.

ACCEPT WHAT YOU HAVE

Research shows that happy people have modest levels of expectation and aspirations — they want what they can get — while unhappy people never seem to get what they want. They also know how to avoid disappointments and how to generate pleasant surprises. This is because they strive for realistic goals and are happy with their lot. As Dr Jose de Jesus Garcia Vega, of the University of Monterrey, Mexico, confirms, we must accept things as they come. 

‘We spend a lot of time complaining about the things that happen to us, but this is a waste of time and effort,’ he says. ‘To be happy, we need to enjoy what we have.’

ENJOY WHAT YOU DO

Happy people do what they enjoy and enjoy what they do — and don’t do it for the money  or glory. There’s no point being stuck in a job you hate, surrounded by unfriendly colleagues just because the money is good — people forget that they are allowed to be happy at work, too. Many spend the best years of their lives trying to make money, sacrificing their health and family in the process, says Dr Garcia Vega. Later, they spend the same money they made working trying to recover their lost health and estranged family. 

LIVE FOR TODAY

Don’t dwell on the past, on things that went wrong or previous failures. Similarly, don’t dream about an idealised future that doesn’t exist or worry about what hasn’t happened yet. Happy people live for the now; they have positive mind sets. If you can’t be happy today, what makes you think tomorrow will be different?

CHOOSE HAPPINESS

Don’t be afraid to step back and re-evaluate your goals. Imagine your life as a story that you can edit and revise as you  go along. This kind of flexible approach requires positive thinking and an open mind — you need to actively choose to be happy.

NICELAND
Iceland has the happiestpopulation, while Britain came ninth in a world survey

‘You always have the freedom to choose the manner in which you wish to approach any given situation,’ says Dr Garcia Vega.This theory is backed up by Ingrida Geciene of Vilnius University, Lithuania, who researched the happiness of people in 31 European countries. 

She found that ‘voluntarists’ (people who feel they have free choice and complete control over their life) were happier than fatalists (people who think little can be changed by personal intervention). 
Luckily for us, Northern European countries contain more voluntarists while Latin European countries such as Spain and Italy have a higher percentage of fatalists.  

RELATIONSHIPS

We get our happiness from other people, and from supporting other people. Remember that just as other people can make us happy, we are all ‘other people’ to someone else. And cherish people who are important to you. Research also shows that married people are happier than single people.

STAY BUSY

If you want to be happier, develop an outgoing, social personality — accept that drinks invitation, join the walking club, book group or choir. The best way to savour pleasure is in the company of others. Build a rich social life, says Eunkook M. Suh, a psychology professor at Yonsei University in Seoul, not as an obligation, but because it is rewarding, meaningful and fun.

Active, busy, social people are the healthiest and happiest, in society. Get involved: make your motto ‘use it or lose it.’ 

In the World Book Of Happiness, Leo Bormans has drawn together research from the world's leading experts on the psychology of happiness

DON'T COMPARE

Ambition is healthy and makes people happy, explains Claudia Senik, a professor  at the University of  Paris-Sorbonne, but envy makes them unhappy. Yet comparisons with others can spoil the benefits of ambition and are only useful if you learn something from them. Focus on your goals and dreams  so you can enjoy  your ambition and achievements.

BE YOURSELF

Just as you shouldn’t compare yourself with others, it’s important not to worry about what others think about you — then you can truly be yourself. 
Happy people are spontaneous, natural and real; they  say what they think and  feel, and aren’t concerned what others think of them. Being oneself makes one feel free  and authentic.

STOP WORRYING

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Happy people don’t worry  and they recognise that 90 per cent of worries never come true.

GET ORGANISED

You might envy those laid-back bohemian types who just do things on the spur of the moment, but don’t be fooled. Happy people plan and organise, they have goals and a purpose. You can only get what you want or desire if you know what it is you want or desire in the first place. So while those chilled-out friends might seem happy, they’re actually just drifting along. 

THINK POSITIVE

Bottling up emotions and bad feelings creates psychological distress and physical discomfort. Happy people get things off their chest, their motto is: get rid of it, or it will get rid of you. Similarly, work at developing optimistic thinking; happy people always look on the  bright side. 

Successful athletes know to focus on winning, not losing, explains Miriam Akhtar, one of the first positive psychologists in the UK. We need to switch from a negative, glass-half-empty outlook to a glass-half-full and put optimism into practice to be happiest. Optimism is the mind’s natural self-defence mechanism against depression.

VALUE HAPPINESS

Happiness can be learned, but finding meaning and a purpose in life is what leads to it, not the other way around. The happiest people appreciate and realise that being happy adds years to their life, and life to their years.

Extracted from The  World Book Of Happiness by  Leo Bormans, published by  Marshall Cavendish at £19.99. © 2011 Leo Bormans. To order  a copy for £16.99 (p&p free)  call 0843 382 0000.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2090271/12-secrets-happy-Using-research-100-world-experts-new-book-shows-look-bright-side.html#ixzz1kJcLiVHg

The Goldilocks Principle of Stress: Too Little Is Almost As Bad as Too Much

STRESS

Stress isn't all bad. You need just the right amount of adversity in life to learn to cope with the troubles ahead.

By MAIA SZALAVITZ | @maiasz | December 20, 2011 | 3

inShare37

ANTHONY LEE / GETTY IMAGES

A life free of stress and adversity sounds blissful. But, in fact, the happiest and healthiest people are those who have had at least some early exposure to negative experiences, according to a new research review.

Despite the popular notion, stress isn’t all bad. In fact, low to moderate amounts of stress are necessary for healthy growth. What’s harmful is large doses of uncontrollable stress — experiencing a natural disaster, for instance, or living in extreme poverty — particularly in early life. Also harmful, it turns out, is having experienced no stress at all.

The new review adds weight to a growing body of evidence that most brain systems function like muscles: they are strengthened through exposure to gradually increasing loads at the appropriate stages of development, but they will wither without exercise and get injured if they are suddenly overloaded without prior training. The stress system is a prime example.

MORE: Why American Presidents (and Some Oscar Winners) Live Longer

In one study included in the review, researchers interviewed 2,000 adults about their lifetime experiences with 37 negative events — things like serious illness or injury, parental divorce, death of a family member, natural disasters and physical and sexual abuse. Participants also provided information about how old they were when the various events occurred.

In addition, the participants were asked about their current levels of distress, their functioning at work and in their relationships, their symptoms of post-traumatic stress and overall life satisfaction. Participants were followed for two years.

Not surprisingly, the more negative experiences people had suffered in the past, the more distress, impairment and post-traumatic stress they reported, along with less satisfaction with life. However, the relationship wasn’t linear. “A history of some prior adversity was associated with better outcomes over time than not only a history of high prior adversity but also a history of no prior adversity,” the authors wrote.

In other words, there’s a sweet spot of stress: too much stress overloads the system and makes life difficult, but having had too little stress causes similar problems. It may be that people who have been through just enough hardship are best able to develop their abilities to cope — and have a more firmly established network of social support — making it easier for them to handle tough experiences later on.

MORE: Study: How Chronic Stress Can Lead to Depression

Another study looked at people with chronic back pain. Again, those who had either no previous adversity or high levels of it had worse function and used more medical services than back-pain sufferers who had experienced some life stress. Indeed, having had an adversity-free life was almost as bad as having had high levels of trauma in terms of disability and prescription pain medication use.

In another study, researchers gauged students’ experience of physical pain. The students were asked to submerge one hand in a bucket of freezing water and report how much pain they felt. Afterward, they were interviewed about their emotional experience during the task.

The researchers wanted to know whether the participants were “catastrophizing” the pain task. Catastrophizing involves thinking that the pain will be unbearable and overwhelming — which in turn heightens the perception of pain.

In this study, too, the researchers found that those who had had moderate exposure to adverse experiences were less likely to catastrophize and felt less pain and less associated negative emotion, compared with those with histories of high or no adversity. Catastrophizing itself, in fact, accounted for some of the increase in pain intensity and negative emotion seen in people on both ends of the spectrum.

That makes psychological sense: if you’ve experienced many disasters, it’s not surprising that you’d expect the worst, while if you’ve had a stress-free life, the novelty of pain itself may provoke intensified fear. In contrast, if your past experiences of stress have been manageable, new ones are less worrisome.

MORE: Viewpoint: Why Tough-Love Rehab Won’t Die

So, does this mean you should deliberately expose your children to stressful experience to toughen them up? Mark Seery, assistant professor of psychology at the State University of New York at Buffalo, the author of the study, thinks not.

“Bad things are still bad things,” Seery writes, noting that the findings should not be taken to minimize the negative consequences of adversity. “This work does, however, suggest that experiencing adversity may have an upside — a silver lining — in that it may help foster resilience.”

For most people, life naturally includes enough stress that there’s absolutely no reason for parents to create more for their children. In fact, studies of “tough-love” programs aimed at promoting behavior change find that this is either ineffective or outright harmful.

For babies in particular, the research finds that responsive care — especially soothing them when they cry — is the best way to “educate” their stress systems. Infants first require nurture from caregivers in order to develop the ability to self-soothe. As they grow, however, they will require gradually increasing challenges — not too much, not too little. When it comes to stress, the Goldilocks principle seems to apply.

Read more: http://healthland.time.com/2011/12/20/the-goldilocks-principle-of-stress-too-little-is-almost-as-bad-as-too-much/#ixzz1hZw5Mkgj