Stay strong

1. Getting burned out. 
2. Just finished 3rd year. 
3. Have the month off, but could not get myself to work. 
4. Need help. HELP!!!!
5. Ironically, I'm suppose to help others. 
6. But if I cannot help myself, how can I help others. 
7. Where is the strength that I used to have? 
8. Am I getting depressed? 
9. Absolutely. 
10. I have love, but don't love self.
11. I'm sad. 
12. Why? 
13. I feel life is meaningless. 
14. There are too much conflicts in this world--not enough jobs, US in huge deficit, increasing tension between the have all and have not, terror attacks, genocides, natural disasters.
15. But when I see people getting accomplished I'm happy. 
16. I'm losing hope and losing meaning of living. 
17. Reading too many sad news that I have no control of. 
18. What happen to my strength? 
19. Need to get up, refreshed, and exercise.
20. I did!
21. I ended up hurting my left hip.
22. It's now excruciatingly painful.
23. Only intermittently. 
24. Be strong.
25. Have confidence.
26. Don't let anything or anyone affect who I are.
27. I am strong.
28. When I saw Alan with a girlfriend I felt embarrassed and shy.
29. Because how could he, the socially inept find a girl when I'm 5 years older cannot?!
30. I know I wasn't looking and hiding in my apartment doesn't help!
31. So don't compare.
32. I saw Gabby today at the fair. 
33. She makes me want to puke.
34. Why is the world so unfair?
35. The one who does wrong does not get punished?
36. Why am I the one to be punished.
37. I was being helpful.
38. That's why I'm hurt. 
39. Why did I feel so shy in front of the people that hurt me and lie to everyone?
40. I'm a coward.
41. I'm easily intimidated.
42. I'm even intimidated by my own past success.
43. Cannot improve.
44. Would feel too much pressure.
45. I give myself too much pressure!!!
46. It doesn't have to be.
47. How?!
48. Why the pressure?
49. The need to get praised???
50. NO!
51. The need to take care of my family and have a good future.
52. The need to not be poor ever again.
53. What so bad about being poor?
54. Who cares what people say!
55. Poor is a bless.
56. It elicits true love.
57. No money to come between us.
58. As long as I could be near my family.
59. The amount I make does not matter.
60. The need to provide my parents and siblings with the best.
61. That will only spoil them and make myself feel overworked.
62. The need to make them live a comfortable life.
63. We don't need 300K a year to be comfortable, just enough to cover expenses.
64. I saw people today in the organizational fair with very nice posters, I feel inept as a president.
65. That's because I know I did not put in the effort.
66. Put in the effort and I will succeed in anything!
67. Need to get up.
68. I can't be a scum.
69. I need to be useful in order to be happy.
70. Help yourself!!!!
71. You can do it!!!
72. I love you!
73. LOVE SELF!!!
74. I AM STRONG and I AM SOMEBODY!